The problem is that it happens to be Sunday and a trip that should have taken no more than 30 minutes has just taken me over an hour.

Why twice as long, and why the issue with Sundays?



Bloody old age pensioners!!!



These doddering, steering wheel hugging, oxygen-stealing bastards are everywhere on a Sunday. It’s the only bloody day they take their cars out for the weekly drive to the shop. Get out and walk you lazy sods, for god sake you are sat on your arse all week moaning about the weather and pissing yourselves every 5 minutes.

You should be glad of the outdoor exercise.

The roads are like a plague of 10 mph near-sighted snails, slowly slithering along. Their shells freshly waxed even though they had never seen the light of day to get dirty in the first place.

Why buy a brand new, sports-edition car if you’re never going to take it out of first gear?!

I am not a road hog, I do not drive like some boy-racing twat, or even worse like an Audi TT or BMW owning helmet. I am reasonably considerate unless you try to sneak past in a traffic jam, then I will cut you off, drag you out of the car and beat you. Any other time I am a decent honest road user. But old people…..why?

How are they allowed to continuously plight our roads?

Most of them are blind, half of them are arthritic and the rest have dementia.

Maybe I am being unfair, some coffin dodgers are quite sprightly considering their extended years. I do not disagree with that, but give them a car, send them out on a Sunday and they all drive like they have Miss Daisy in the back.

There should be a law.

Any person lucky enough to survive past sixty who wishes to continue driving has to take a test. Nothing fancy, just a simple health check-up, eyesight test and basic driving skills….like the ability to drive on the correct side of the road, park in a under 20 minutes, not drive straight over roundabouts and then drive faster than 30 mph, without having a seizure.

I am not heartless, if they pass the test without dying they can drive….for a year – then they take the test again. Don’t shake your head; a month is the equivalent of 5 years in old person time.

But until my new law gets voted in these bumbling old wrinklies will continue to slowly hobble out of the shops. Only just staying upright with the aid of a stick, feeling about in front of them blinded by their own hirsute eyebrows and whilst they may have just destroyed 2 shop displays with their shopping trolley steering skills , they will undoubtedly climb into a brand new Mercedes.

And I know damn well I will end up stuck behind them.